








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 894 | 19% |
| Smokes | 396 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 1882 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1590 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $431,035 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charlie Sheesh | 50% | 36 |
| #2 | AxeBodySpray01 | 49% | 63 |
| #3 | Krampfader420 | 49% | 96 |
| #4 | Solid Snake | 49% | 82 |
| #5 | Bomburio | 48% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ludwig van Beethoven | 248 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Krampfader420 | 168 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | AxeBodySpray01 | 147 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Solid Snake | 144 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bomburio | 121 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mago | +2.30 | 56 | 29 |
| #2 | Ludwig van Beethoven | +0.54 | 34 | 63 |
| #3 | Solid Snake | -0.10 | 21 | 49 |
| #4 | AxeBodySpray01 | -0.27 | 44 | 59 |
| #5 | Krampfader420 | -0.54 | 33 | 46 |





