








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1187 | 28% |
| Smokes | 480 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1001 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1500 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,212 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krampfader420 | 54% | 72 |
| #2 | theylovecatto | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Bomburio | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | mago | 49% | 82 |
| #5 | Nur6ix | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | theylovecatto | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Bomburio | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | mago | 49% | 82 |
| #5 | Nur6ix | 48% | 27 |
| #6 | Charlie Sheesh | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mago | 13 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Bomburio | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Krampfader420 | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | theylovecatto | 3 | 0.0114 |
| #5 | Charlie Sheesh | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krampfader420 | 117 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Nur6ix | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | mago | 49 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bomburio | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Charlie Sheesh | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theylovecatto | +3.68 | 68 | 49 |
| #2 | mago | +2.98 | 56 | 27 |
| #3 | Solid Snake | +0.56 | 21 | 49 |
| #4 | Bomburio | -0.80 | 38 | 45 |
| #5 | Krampfader420 | -1.09 | 28 | 44 |





