








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1028 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1332 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2243 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1195 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1364 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,191,104 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rise | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | JohnERico | 50% | 269 |
| #3 | Ferro | 48% | 177 |
| #4 | Mr. Wide | 44% | 104 |
| #5 | kuth | 44% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ferro | 48% | 177 |
| #4 | Mr. Wide | 44% | 104 |
| #5 | kuth | 44% | 209 |
| #6 | Sheep | 43% | 44 |
| #7 | Whiffy | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuth | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Ferro | 14 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | JohnERico | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Mr. Wide | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Sheep | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnERico | 531 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | Ferro | 296 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | kuth | 287 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Mr. Wide | 141 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sheep | 119 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dropp | +3.41 | 92 | 54 |
| #2 | JohnERico | +1.18 | 59 | 72 |
| #3 | Ferro | -0.85 | 50 | 56 |
| #4 | Sheep | -0.99 | 68 | 54 |
| #5 | Rise | -1.83 | 67 | 50 |





