








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4163 | 45% |
| Smokes | 3582 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 658 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 848 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $762,691 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nika :* | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Pruxim | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | #ByleNieTrzaskowski | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | [BRE]Alaric | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | Peke | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [R] Ezoteryczny Dręczyciel | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Nevbick | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | [I] Hertan | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | [GG] Muumi | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | seyd | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [R] Ezoteryczny Dręczyciel | 388 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #2 | Nevbick | 332 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | [GG] Muumi | 230 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | [BRE]Alaric | 64 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | seyd | 61 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nika :* | +6.48 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | seyd | +5.65 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | [I] ROZPIERDALACZ | +1.94 | 48 | 69 |
| #4 | Peke | +1.12 | 71 | 42 |
| #5 | Nevbick | +0.42 | 50 | 53 |





