








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4383 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3588 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3828 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1869 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $831,538 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nika :* | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | [BRE]Alaric | 54% | 134 |
| #3 | Pruxim | 53% | 72 |
| #4 | [GG] Muumi | 51% | 299 |
| #5 | Nevbick | 50% | 345 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nevbick | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | [GG] Muumi | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | [I] Hertan | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | [I] ROZPIERDALACZ | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | [BRE]Alaric | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [I] ROZPIERDALACZ | 773 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | Nevbick | 492 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #3 | [GG] Muumi | 337 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | [BRE]Alaric | 167 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Siemion | 96 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nika :* | +6.66 | 85 | 70 |
| #2 | seyd | +5.31 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | [I] ROZPIERDALACZ | +1.91 | 48 | 69 |
| #4 | Nevbick | +0.93 | 47 | 53 |
| #5 | [GG] Muumi | +0.57 | 39 | 61 |





