








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2038 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3961 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1456 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3148 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $872,858 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [BRE]Alaric | 57% | 115 |
| #2 | Pruxim | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | Nevbick | 52% | 269 |
| #4 | [R] Ezoteryczny Dręczyciel | 51% | 299 |
| #5 | [I] Hertan | 51% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | [I] Hertan | 51% | 130 |
| #6 | [I] ROZPIERDALACZ | 49% | 193 |
| #7 | #ByleNieTrzaskowski | 48% | 29 |
| #8 | Siemion | 44% | 25 |
| #9 | [N] Kaz | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nevbick | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | [R] Ezoteryczny Dręczyciel | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | [I] Hertan | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | [I] ROZPIERDALACZ | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | [BRE]Alaric | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [I] ROZPIERDALACZ | 594 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | [R] Ezoteryczny Dręczyciel | 473 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | Nevbick | 382 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | [BRE]Alaric | 152 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Siemion | 55 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [I] ROZPIERDALACZ | +1.73 | 48 | 68 |
| #2 | Nevbick | +1.10 | 47 | 54 |
| #3 | [GG] Muumi | +0.64 | 39 | 61 |
| #4 | [R] Ezoteryczny Dręczyciel | -0.39 | 35 | 67 |
| #5 | [I] Hertan | -0.62 | 24 | 30 |





