








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 51 | 10% |
| Smokes | 146 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 176 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 154 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $26,112 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PT Cruiser | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | My Nuts Stink | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Bober | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | Ethlam Abdulmanut | 80% | 5 |
| #5 | Anderdingus | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪2004 Mazda Rx-8 | 2 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | My Nuts Stink | 1 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | PT Cruiser | 1 | 0.0238 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | 28 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #2 | ✪2004 Mazda Rx-8 | 27 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #3 | My Nuts Stink | 4 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | PT Cruiser | 4 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Ethlam Abdulmanut | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | +15.00 | 95 | 59 |
| #2 | ✪2004 Mazda Rx-8 | +6.85 | 88 | 45 |
| #3 | My Nuts Stink | +2.18 | 46 | 66 |
| #4 | PT Cruiser | +1.60 | 59 | 39 |
| #5 | Taravel | -0.43 | 81 | 44 |





