








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1209 | 30% |
| Smokes | 969 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 837 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1080 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $576,213 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Schmitty | 52% | 88 |
| #4 | SamGC | 52% | 149 |
| #5 | TheHoneyInspector | 51% | 127 |
| #6 | Bill | 47% | 76 |
| #7 | karito_ | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheHoneyInspector | 907 | 0.34 | 27 min |
| #2 | SamGC | 353 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Bill | 107 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Schmitty | 91 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | karito_ | 53 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamGC | +1.14 | 70 | 61 |
| #2 | TheHoneyInspector | +0.76 | 79 | 74 |
| #3 | chethnut | +0.69 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | karito_ | +0.36 | 76 | 68 |
| #5 | Bill | -0.03 | 71 | 58 |





