








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3449 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2916 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2123 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2812 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,434,795 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schmitty | 57% | 95 |
| #2 | Bill | 52% | 81 |
| #3 | chethnut | 52% | 149 |
| #4 | TheHoneyInspector | 51% | 355 |
| #5 | flop | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schmitty | 57% | 95 |
| #2 | Bill | 52% | 81 |
| #3 | chethnut | 52% | 149 |
| #4 | TheHoneyInspector | 51% | 355 |
| #5 | flop | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheHoneyInspector | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | chethnut | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Bill | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheHoneyInspector | 2306 | 0.32 | 62 min |
| #2 | chethnut | 400 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Bill | 112 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Schmitty | 93 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | flop | 44 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flop | +2.75 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | chethnut | +0.75 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | SamGC | +0.61 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | TheHoneyInspector | +0.37 | 81 | 71 |
| #5 | Bill | +0.04 | 72 | 58 |





