








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1052 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 2,363 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1781 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2004 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1988 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1590 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $831,260 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mackezx | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | sesch | 71% | 31 |
| #3 | Alex | 70% | 37 |
| #4 | cap | 67% | 30 |
| #5 | Teroba | 63% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | cap | 67% | 30 |
| #5 | Teroba | 63% | 40 |
| #6 | Himmel | 63% | 104 |
| #7 | Selin | 59% | 39 |
| #8 | no aim no brain | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Himmel | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Himmel | 215 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | sesch | 171 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | Teroba | 140 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Selin | 99 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Alex | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeroxd | +3.71 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | mackezx | +1.58 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | Alex | +1.06 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | Himmel | +0.71 | 82 | 56 |
| #5 | Teroba | +0.55 | 71 | 72 |





