








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 912 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 393 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4819 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4680 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5405 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4635 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4209 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,168,621 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 920 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeroxd | 63% | 40 |
| #2 | Himmel | 54% | 123 |
| #3 | hokuS pokus | 52% | 184 |
| #4 | cap | 52% | 195 |
| #5 | Selin | 52% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Selin | 52% | 228 |
| #6 | sesch | 52% | 124 |
| #7 | Alex | 51% | 119 |
| #8 | M1kLarEn | 48% | 123 |
| #9 | no aim no brain | 39% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Himmel | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Selin | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | sesch | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | zeroxd | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | hokuS pokus | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sesch | 738 | 0.26 | 19 min |
| #2 | M1kLarEn | 590 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #3 | hokuS pokus | 493 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | cap | 420 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | Selin | 403 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeroxd | +3.10 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | Himmel | +2.18 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | Alex | +1.96 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | M1kLarEn | +1.87 | 87 | 72 |
| #5 | sesch | +0.76 | 62 | 73 |





