








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 668 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 605 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,039 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6941 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6477 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4229 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6392 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,405,922 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Himmel | 61% | 114 |
| #2 | Alex | 55% | 136 |
| #3 | Dobby Shmurda | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | hokuS pokus | 54% | 256 |
| #5 | sesch | 53% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | sesch | 53% | 129 |
| #6 | Teroba | 52% | 195 |
| #7 | Selin | 49% | 350 |
| #8 | no aim no brain | 47% | 146 |
| #9 | M1kLarEn | 47% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Selin | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | Himmel | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | hokuS pokus | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | Teroba | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sesch | 767 | 0.28 | 20 min |
| #2 | Teroba | 742 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #3 | hokuS pokus | 723 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #4 | Selin | 605 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #5 | M1kLarEn | 514 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Himmel | +3.32 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Alex | +2.80 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | M1kLarEn | +1.80 | 87 | 72 |
| #4 | Dobby Shmurda | +1.00 | 55 | 43 |
| #5 | sesch | +0.86 | 63 | 74 |





