








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2518 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2928 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3395 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2146 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $855,611 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ONE | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Xtazy <1nf3ct> | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | Perla | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | mind cntrl | 58% | 96 |
| #5 | MorningstaR | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mind cntrl | 304 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Zeykon | 148 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Xtazy <1nf3ct> | 96 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | 'SýningarmaðuriNN | 87 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | kusturinn | 69 | 0.15 | 1 min |





