








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 447 | 25% |
| Smokes | 708 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 202 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 418 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,307 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrSpecial03 | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | ムPako | 53% | 78 |
| #3 | AlfJørgen67 | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | go jim | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | NotGamer | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | AlfJørgen67 | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | go jim | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | NotGamer | 50% | 16 |
| #6 | ム 𝗥𝗶𝗻𝘇𝗹𝗲𝗿 | 50% | 46 |
| #7 | Tor Ingar Puppfjord | 49% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tor Ingar Puppfjord | 11 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | ムPako | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | AlfJørgen67 | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | ム 𝗥𝗶𝗻𝘇𝗹𝗲𝗿 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | NotGamer | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ムPako | 191 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Tor Ingar Puppfjord | 148 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | ム 𝗥𝗶𝗻𝘇𝗹𝗲𝗿 | 106 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | DrSpecial03 | 56 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | AlfJørgen67 | 32 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ムPako | +4.32 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | Tor Ingar Puppfjord | +1.64 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | ム 𝗥𝗶𝗻𝘇𝗹𝗲𝗿 | +1.51 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | DrSpecial03 | +0.94 | 43 | 62 |
| #5 | AlfJørgen67 | -1.04 | 51 | 31 |





