








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5936 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5381 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2954 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3824 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $698,029 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speycs | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | Joey | 56% | 155 |
| #3 | Pawli ^w^ | 56% | 61 |
| #4 | oscar | 54% | 57 |
| #5 | Mojito | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | oscar | 54% | 57 |
| #5 | Mojito | 37% | 35 |
| #6 | JaSaTo | 35% | 31 |
| #7 | Rasta Smurf | 35% | 26 |
| #8 | Hiro | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joey | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Pawli ^w^ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | oscar | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Speycs | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Mojito | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joey | 328 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | oscar | 290 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | Speycs | 138 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pawli ^w^ | 134 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | JaSaTo | 100 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mykolkaaa | +1.62 | 64 | 78 |
| #2 | Joey | +1.43 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | oscar | +1.18 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | Rasta Smurf | +1.13 | 56 | 46 |
| #5 | Hiro | +0.62 | 72 | 54 |





