








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2687 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 827 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 48,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13135 | 27% |
| Smokes | 14218 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 10191 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 11174 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,238,351 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 962 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Flop | 58% | 97 |
| #3 | XSaber9298 | 55% | 577 |
| #4 | Sn0w | 54% | 713 |
| #5 | sallad | 53% | 152 |
| #6 | BOT Dinosaur | 51% | 77 |





