








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 416 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5282 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5087 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2755 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3296 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,141,865 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sn0w | 54% | 54 |
| #2 | XSaber9298 | 54% | 84 |
| #3 | Xavah | 53% | 152 |
| #4 | BRAD FUCKIN CASTLEBERRY | 49% | 63 |
| #5 | Unvoicedvovo | 41% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sn0w | 54% | 54 |
| #2 | XSaber9298 | 54% | 84 |
| #3 | Xavah | 53% | 152 |
| #4 | BRAD FUCKIN CASTLEBERRY | 49% | 63 |
| #5 | Unvoicedvovo | 41% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unvoicedvovo | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | BRAD FUCKIN CASTLEBERRY | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Xavah | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | XSaber9298 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xavah | 643 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #2 | BRAD FUCKIN CASTLEBERRY | 178 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Unvoicedvovo | 120 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sn0w | 105 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | XSaber9298 | 103 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xavah | +2.06 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | Sn0w | +1.43 | 53 | 56 |
| #3 | sallad | +0.85 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | XSaber9298 | -0.48 | 61 | 54 |
| #5 | BRAD FUCKIN CASTLEBERRY | -1.01 | 66 | 60 |





