








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 173 | 10% |
| Smokes | 345 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 804 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 350 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,016 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fenty Wap | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | an idiot™ | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Zikael | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | God_Hates_Ash | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | some idiot™ | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Zikael | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | God_Hates_Ash | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | some idiot™ | 51% | 37 |
| #6 | NatBingBong | 50% | 48 |
| #7 | Willebrodus | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | an idiot™ | 6 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | some idiot™ | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Zikael | 3 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | God_Hates_Ash | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Willebrodus | 2 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | some idiot™ | 87 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | an idiot™ | 61 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zikael | 18 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | NatBingBong | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Willebrodus | 15 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zikael | +7.72 | 71 | 38 |
| #2 | some idiot™ | +5.15 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | an idiot™ | +4.74 | 77 | 68 |
| #4 | Fenty Wap | +3.62 | 40 | 46 |
| #5 | God_Hates_Ash | -1.15 | 31 | 21 |





