








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 821 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 370 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4136 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4087 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5053 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3961 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,422,927 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Norphe | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | ✪tomeZ✪ | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | MÖRKÖ | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | H0LL0W | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | MÖHÖMAHA | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Ƶ𝓮ŁŁ𝓮Ɽ | 47% | 49 |
| #10 | Steffe | 44% | 43 |
| #11 | tommi | 39% | 69 |
| #12 | make | 39% | 31 |
| #13 | -tEME | 35% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steffe | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | tommi | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | -tEME | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | MÖHÖMAHA | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | 𝐑U𝐙𝐙K𝐈𝐙 | 2 | 0.0015 |





