








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 918 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3081 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2971 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3861 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3866 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,620,202 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BobaBosch | 55% | 73 |
| #2 | R o /V /V `/ | 54% | 68 |
| #3 | Fireblade | 53% | 152 |
| #4 | seak | 53% | 87 |
| #5 | Kenobiwan | 53% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kenobiwan | 53% | 144 |
| #6 | /-`/_/ /-/ /_ Bussard | 53% | 76 |
| #7 | shax | 51% | 57 |
| #8 | Kvikne | 49% | 109 |
| #9 | arch | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seak | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | arch | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Kvikne | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | /-`/_/ /-/ /_ Bussard | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | R o /V /V `/ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fireblade | 812 | 0.26 | 23 min |
| #2 | seak | 384 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | /-`/_/ /-/ /_ Bussard | 337 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Kenobiwan | 331 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Kvikne | 214 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juqu3r | +2.34 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | shax | +1.49 | 61 | 63 |
| #3 | seak | +1.00 | 57 | 70 |
| #4 | Kenobiwan | +0.39 | 68 | 75 |
| #5 | BobaBosch | +0.37 | 62 | 59 |





