








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 547 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 326 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5042 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5731 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3004 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2905 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $675,782 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juqu3r | 53% | 152 |
| #2 | seak | 52% | 101 |
| #3 | /-`/_/ /-/ /_ Bussard | 52% | 189 |
| #4 | R o /V /V `/ | 51% | 145 |
| #5 | JimmzN | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | JimmzN | 50% | 30 |
| #6 | shax | 50% | 48 |
| #7 | Kenobiwan | 50% | 301 |
| #8 | Vincent | 49% | 73 |
| #9 | Kvikne | 46% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | /-`/_/ /-/ /_ Bussard | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Kenobiwan | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Juqu3r | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Kvikne | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | R o /V /V `/ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seak | 307 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | /-`/_/ /-/ /_ Bussard | 291 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Kenobiwan | 240 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Juqu3r | 119 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kvikne | 82 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juqu3r | +1.55 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | seak | +1.21 | 56 | 69 |
| #3 | Kenobiwan | +0.68 | 71 | 74 |
| #4 | shax | +0.27 | 61 | 64 |
| #5 | Kvikne | +0.08 | 71 | 65 |





