








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 67 | 29% |
| Smokes | 21 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 92 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 53 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $48,706 of utility $18 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lunjus | 44% | 25 |
| #2 | メMelvinTheDestroyer | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | punjus | 43% | 28 |
| #4 | DPa1ms | 40% | 60 |
| #5 | < blank > | 37% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | < blank > | 37% | 102 |
| #6 | wunna | 36% | 42 |
| #7 | Flicko Mode | 35% | 68 |
| #8 | Chef | 30% | 71 |
| #9 | Gunjoid | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 15 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Chef | 10 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | DPa1ms | 9 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Flicko Mode | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | wunna | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 179 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Flicko Mode | 125 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Chef | 108 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gunjoid | 74 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | DPa1ms | 69 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | +4.13 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | Flicko Mode | +1.61 | 64 | 60 |
| #3 | Chef | +0.74 | 49 | 47 |
| #4 | punjus | -0.20 | 40 | 40 |
| #5 | DPa1ms | -0.34 | 50 | 39 |





