








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 954 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,257 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9156 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8762 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5846 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7493 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,687,744 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0votny | 61% | 54 |
| #2 | astra | 50% | 404 |
| #3 | οτιcο | 49% | 93 |
| #4 | Shroodle | 49% | 567 |
| #5 | rx | 48% | 891 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | astra | 50% | 404 |
| #3 | οτιcο | 49% | 93 |
| #4 | Shroodle | 49% | 567 |
| #5 | rx | 48% | 891 |
| #6 | ZK | 47% | 383 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shroodle | 31 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ZK | 27 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | rx | 25 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | astra | 19 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | n0votny | 7 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rx | 2001 | 0.10 | 47 min |
| #2 | ZK | 1550 | 0.19 | 45 min |
| #3 | Shroodle | 1540 | 0.13 | 35 min |
| #4 | astra | 964 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #5 | οτιcο | 292 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | οτιcο | +1.89 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | astra | +1.49 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | Shroodle | +1.13 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | n0votny | +1.01 | 65 | 45 |
| #5 | ZK | +0.15 | 66 | 62 |





