








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 388 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 126 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5364 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5314 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5227 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4295 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,169,409 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1088 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niha | 65% | 62 |
| #2 | sakkaride | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | ♛★Quark★♛ | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | kulhydrat | 52% | 366 |
| #5 | ¤¤VELO¤¤ | 52% | 327 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ¤¤VELO¤¤ | 52% | 327 |
| #6 | El Cazador | 51% | 255 |
| #7 | ԼЗнтO | 51% | 255 |
| #8 | Crunk | 47% | 128 |
| #9 | BECH | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¤¤VELO¤¤ | 15 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | kulhydrat | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ԼЗнтO | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Crunk | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | El Cazador | 5 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kulhydrat | 669 | 0.09 | 25 min |
| #2 | ¤¤VELO¤¤ | 575 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | Crunk | 269 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | El Cazador | 232 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | ԼЗнтO | 200 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donkey | +2.80 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | sakkaride | +1.63 | 65 | 69 |
| #3 | kulhydrat | +1.18 | 57 | 69 |
| #4 | BECH | +0.67 | 65 | 72 |
| #5 | ¤¤VELO¤¤ | -0.51 | 36 | 71 |





