








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 347 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1692 | 13% |
| Smokes | 4113 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4068 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3541 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,863,509 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ¤¤VELO¤¤ | 49% | 283 |
| #6 | El Cazador | 49% | 245 |
| #7 | kulhydrat | 47% | 312 |
| #8 | BECH | 47% | 30 |
| #9 | Crunk | 45% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donkey | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ¤¤VELO¤¤ | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Crunk | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | kulhydrat | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | El Cazador | 5 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donkey | 673 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | kulhydrat | 591 | 0.09 | 23 min |
| #3 | ¤¤VELO¤¤ | 505 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | Crunk | 218 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | El Cazador | 209 | 0.04 | 5 min |





