








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
775 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 853 | 27% |
| Smokes | 932 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 397 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 944 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $258,966 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sevil | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | LUKEWOW- | 52% | 90 |
| #3 | Mat0x | 51% | 78 |
| #4 | shit country | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | v | 47% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | LUKEWOW- | 52% | 90 |
| #3 | Mat0x | 51% | 78 |
| #4 | shit country | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | v | 47% | 53 |
| #6 | rejdym | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mat0x | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | shit country | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUKEWOW- | 485 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mat0x | 233 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | v | 177 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | shit country | 88 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sevil | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mat0x | +2.58 | 92 | 67 |
| #2 | shit country | +1.33 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | LUKEWOW- | +0.67 | 78 | 72 |
| #4 | v | -0.80 | 66 | 73 |
| #5 | Sevil | -1.33 | 69 | 51 |





