








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 361 | 27% |
| Smokes | 57 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 451 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 472 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $33,111 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Yvng_Okidoke | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | Pesky | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | Cursed Ghoul | 45% | 56 |
| #5 | Wiscy | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Yvng_Okidoke | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | Pesky | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | Cursed Ghoul | 45% | 56 |
| #5 | Wiscy | 44% | 48 |
| #6 | MMGamer | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cursed Ghoul | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Wiscy | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Yvng_Okidoke | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wiscy | 77 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Cursed Ghoul | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pesky | 40 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Yvng_Okidoke | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | DJ | 10 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pesky | +6.56 | 87 | 33 |
| #2 | Wiscy | +2.49 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | Cursed Ghoul | +0.44 | 47 | 29 |
| #4 | Yvng_Okidoke | -0.58 | 50 | 38 |
| #5 | DJ | -1.25 | 83 | 13 |





