








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2840 | 42% |
| Smokes | 615 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 2456 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 855 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $340,884 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arthurr | 116 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Ablaze | 89 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Wiscy | 57 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Cursed Ghoul | 51 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | 808ash | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |





