








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2873 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1748 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3614 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3176 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,165 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChimpanWeen | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | SKXFIJI | 48% | 151 |
| #3 | Darkenswift^ | 47% | 139 |
| #4 | Bevin | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | JT | 47% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChimpanWeen | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | SKXFIJI | 48% | 151 |
| #3 | Darkenswift^ | 47% | 139 |
| #4 | Bevin | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | JT | 47% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SKXFIJI | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | JT | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | ChimpanWeen | 8 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Darkenswift^ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Bevin | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darkenswift^ | 481 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | SKXFIJI | 428 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | JT | 167 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bevin | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | ChimpanWeen | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SKXFIJI | +1.55 | 59 | 67 |
| #2 | JT | +0.67 | 49 | 63 |
| #3 | ChimpanWeen | -0.01 | 69 | 36 |
| #4 | Zenxter | -0.19 | 39 | 55 |
| #5 | Bevin | -1.70 | 34 | 46 |





