








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 524 | 30% |
| Smokes | 367 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 528 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 319 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $312,485 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maestro89 | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Fleance | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | buzzkii | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Zevos | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Count Tools | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Legna | 38% | 13 |
| #12 | Hachi Bee | 37% | 19 |
| #13 | run chicken run | 33% | 6 |
| #14 | Cai Shen | 30% | 10 |
| #15 | R4don | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4don | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | ga0u | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | JF贏 | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Hachi Bee | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Zevos | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ga0u | 106 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Vinsmoke | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hachi Bee | 46 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | JF贏 | 24 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Cai Shen | 23 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fleance | +3.85 | 80 | 35 |
| #2 | JF贏 | +2.02 | 81 | 49 |
| #3 | Dudu | +1.24 | 91 | 48 |
| #4 | R4don | +1.12 | 75 | 39 |
| #5 | Forever Young | Lek Tau Cui | +0.68 | 68 | 50 |





