








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1374 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1517 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4890 | 52% |
| Molotovs | 1575 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,394,290 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 🎉🍾HAPPY NEW YEARS🍾🎉 | 49% | 132 |
| #4 | Yeezo | 41% | 100 |
| #5 | | KOBESKINGDOM | BabySosaLVR | 36% | 223 |
| #6 | felonytrucker420 | 31% | 134 |
| #7 | MonkyDLuffy | 26% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RanglerGuy | 29 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | felonytrucker420 | 26 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | | KOBESKINGDOM | BabySosaLVR | 17 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | MonkyDLuffy | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | 🎉🍾HAPPY NEW YEARS🍾🎉 | 5 | 0.0019 |





