








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 937 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4043 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4913 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4364 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3458 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,793,167 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DENT.GG Niffrus is Daddy | 56% | 57 |
| #2 | ouch | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | swag 7 | 51% | 76 |
| #4 | Hawkish | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | StringCheeseDude | 43% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Hawkish | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | StringCheeseDude | 43% | 86 |
| #6 | dubmanhimself | 42% | 73 |
| #7 | FlashGamesNemesis | 42% | 92 |
| #8 | Mapped | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlashGamesNemesis | 13 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | StringCheeseDude | 13 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | dubmanhimself | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | ouch | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | DENT.GG Niffrus is Daddy | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StringCheeseDude | 371 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | swag 7 | 194 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | FlashGamesNemesis | 139 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | DENT.GG Niffrus is Daddy | 134 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | ouch | 133 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jystir | +0.57 | 63 | 69 |
| #2 | DENT.GG Niffrus is Daddy | +0.30 | 71 | 52 |
| #3 | ouch | -0.43 | 65 | 60 |
| #4 | StringCheeseDude | -0.47 | 59 | 48 |
| #5 | swag 7 | -0.49 | 41 | 44 |





