








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3064 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2672 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2271 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2380 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $216,584 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manky | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | zjr | 76% | 17 |
| #3 | Go.0 ♕ | 60% | 68 |
| #4 | -m0t | 59% | 74 |
| #5 | chakas | 59% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -m0t | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | chakas | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | itsjoris | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Baremo | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Go.0 ♕ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baremo | 355 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | -m0t | 311 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | chakas | 268 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | itsjoris | 137 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Manky | 81 | 0.18 | 2 min |





