










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3239 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3168 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2404 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2216 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $819,460 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Go.0 ♕ | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Tisto | 58% | 100 |
| #3 | chakas | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | -m0t | 54% | 61 |
| #5 | ElBouvax | 51% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✿Hesiode✿ | 9 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | chakas | 6 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Tisto | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | -m0t | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | ElBouvax | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tisto | 482 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #2 | -m0t | 246 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | ElBouvax | 183 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✿Hesiode✿ | 164 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | chakas | 161 | 0.19 | 6 min |





