










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1858 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2012 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1602 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2087 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 275 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,486,143 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





