








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 353 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3731 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3636 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3768 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3634 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,108,121 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 366 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Swaz | 40% | 256 |
| #8 | IceyyBoi | 40% | 75 |
| #9 | Johni | 39% | 31 |
| #10 | GodMaChin | 38% | 136 |
| #11 | PierceB | 29% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swaz | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | MDC 医者 | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Yeager | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | PierceB | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | SCP | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodMaChin | 636 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | MDC 医者 | 514 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #3 | Swaz | 512 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | Yeager | 477 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #5 | Scrapee | 224 | 0.31 | 7 min |





