








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,277 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 641 | 28% |
| Smokes | 503 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 572 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 561 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $204,948 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Debil Sanders | 12 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Prodigy_VIII | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Draymorsouless | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | SaltSnipes | 2 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Debil Sanders | 217 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin | 79 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Draymorsouless | 61 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Prodigy_VIII | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Stotzie | 27 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Debil Sanders | +4.62 | 58 | 72 |
| #2 | ToxicShandy | +1.42 | 40 | 52 |
| #3 | Pickle Jar | +1.16 | 55 | 57 |
| #4 | Stotzie | +0.57 | 56 | 67 |
| #5 | SaltSnipes | +0.49 | 47 | 53 |





