








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 277 | 33% |
| Smokes | 77 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 278 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 208 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $159,699 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Stotzie | 46% | 26 |
| #6 | Omegastien | 44% | 27 |
| #7 | Prodigy_VIII | 40% | 20 |
| #8 | Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin | 33% | 12 |
| #9 | Tosti :) | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Omegastien | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Stotzie | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Prodigy_VIII | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Debil Sanders | 2 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stotzie | 109 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Omegastien | 73 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Debil Sanders | 33 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pickle Jar | 26 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Debil Sanders | +5.23 | 61 | 62 |
| #2 | Pickle Jar | +2.50 | 48 | 65 |
| #3 | Stotzie | +2.26 | 52 | 68 |
| #4 | Tosti :) | +1.30 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin | +1.17 | 67 | 60 |





