








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 643 | 30% |
| Smokes | 228 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 506 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 732 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,991 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaltSnipes | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Omegastien | 42% | 53 |
| #3 | Debil Sanders | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | mork | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Prodigy_VIII | 38% | 48 |
| #8 | Stotzie | 37% | 54 |
| #9 | Pickle Jar | 35% | 17 |
| #10 | Tosti :) | 25% | 8 |
| #11 | Fred Durst | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stotzie | 12 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Debil Sanders | 8 | 0.0188 |
| #3 | Prodigy_VIII | 7 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin | 6 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Omegastien | 5 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stotzie | 156 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | mork | 153 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #3 | Omegastien | 122 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin | 82 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Debil Sanders | 81 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tosti :) | +6.92 | 91 | 72 |
| #2 | mork | +6.42 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | Debil Sanders | +3.96 | 58 | 76 |
| #4 | Fred Durst | +2.52 | 81 | 65 |
| #5 | Stotzie | +2.17 | 65 | 69 |





