








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 451 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3037 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1200 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1675 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3300 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2061 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,454,054 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | U9600 | 71% | 35 |
| #2 | Louis | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | James | 56% | 142 |
| #4 | Symmol | 54% | 166 |
| #5 | TFBC | 53% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TFBC | 53% | 184 |
| #6 | bigger brain than you | 53% | 126 |
| #7 | Dakillzor for President | 50% | 143 |
| #8 | Hepha | 50% | 124 |
| #9 | Guts | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Symmol | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Hepha | 12 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | TFBC | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Dakillzor for President | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | James | 9 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Symmol | 571 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Dakillzor for President | 527 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | TFBC | 486 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | Hepha | 269 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | bigger brain than you | 171 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James | +2.14 | 90 | 49 |
| #2 | Hepha | +2.05 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | Louis | +1.91 | 88 | 61 |
| #4 | TFBC | +0.29 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | Dakillzor for President | +0.19 | 64 | 70 |





