








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 55 | 11% |
| Smokes | 168 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 160 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 113 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $31,350 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miracle | 36% | 14 |
| #2 | PUSHLIKEPREGNANT | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Lucker99 | 33% | 15 |
| #4 | Mayonesy | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | Totty | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lucker99 | 33% | 15 |
| #4 | Mayonesy | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | Totty | 30% | 10 |
| #6 | Niicohaft | 25% | 8 |
| #7 | Fabiihaft | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucker99 | 7 | 0.0236 |
| #2 | Mayonesy | 3 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Niicohaft | 1 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Fabiihaft | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucker99 | 103 | 0.35 | 2 min |
| #2 | miracle | 85 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #3 | Niicohaft | 32 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #4 | Fabiihaft | 17 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Totty | 12 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miracle | +4.28 | 74 | 72 |
| #2 | PUSHLIKEPREGNANT | +0.80 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | Niicohaft | +0.71 | 50 | 51 |
| #4 | Totty | +0.32 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | Lucker99 | -0.83 | 86 | 61 |





