








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 556 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 409 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7973 | 27% |
| Smokes | 8495 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5992 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6999 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,082,181 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unti | 76% | 45 |
| #2 | LawLess | 64% | 248 |
| #3 | miracle | 58% | 402 |
| #4 | Fabiihaft | 56% | 229 |
| #5 | Neighbour | 54% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neighbour | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Fabiihaft | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | miracle | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | LawLess | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Totty | 5 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miracle | 2382 | 0.29 | 60 min |
| #2 | LawLess | 1152 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #3 | Neighbour | 426 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Totty | 325 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | Fabiihaft | 324 | 0.07 | 5 min |





