








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 958 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7357 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,637 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7122 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6737 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4242 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5536 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,826,707 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | horny honda mechanic | 100 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | milky substance | 41 | 0.0317 |
| #3 | Twist In My Sobriety | 24 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | JC | 16 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | Zan | 14 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SabianGGST | 481 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #2 | milky substance | 309 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | JC | 251 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | horny honda mechanic | 207 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Zan | 128 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | takeru | +6.76 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | Twist In My Sobriety | +5.22 | 72 | 21 |
| #3 | Thicc AF | +2.95 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | SabianGGST | +2.30 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | milky substance | +0.85 | 68 | 38 |





