








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 388 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,625 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5629 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6034 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5821 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4141 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $976,410 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 407 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weegull | 53% | 58 |
| #2 | Slatt Ryan | 53% | 88 |
| #3 | do better vincent | 52% | 48 |
| #4 | nich | 52% | 327 |
| #5 | dDeeVo | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Slatt Ryan | 53% | 88 |
| #3 | do better vincent | 52% | 48 |
| #4 | nich | 52% | 327 |
| #5 | dDeeVo | 45% | 40 |
| #6 | Chronic Samerpn | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nich | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Slatt Ryan | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | do better vincent | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Weegull | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nich | 1052 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #2 | Slatt Ryan | 275 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Weegull | 186 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | dDeeVo | 186 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | do better vincent | 152 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weegull | +1.79 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | Scroncie | +1.66 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | nich | -0.16 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | dDeeVo | -0.46 | 63 | 73 |
| #5 | do better vincent | -1.42 | 74 | 60 |





