








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1198 | 32% |
| Smokes | 893 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 702 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1001 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $203,326 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕵𝖚𝖑𝖎𝖊 | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | MRxRED | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Swynnix | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | Bergmau | 69% | 49 |
| #5 | racooooon | 66% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | tabbz | 65% | 26 |
| #7 | ΞRNIE™ | 64% | 47 |
| #8 | edox | 60% | 10 |
| #9 | twitch.tv/failycs | 59% | 22 |
| #10 | dweeb2 | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | racooooon | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ΞRNIE™ | 227 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | racooooon | 126 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | tabbz | 109 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | twitch.tv/failycs | 84 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | MRxRED | 59 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koltan | +2.75 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | Bergmau | +2.52 | 83 | 43 |
| #3 | edox | +2.46 | 88 | 66 |
| #4 | MRxRED | +1.85 | 77 | 75 |
| #5 | racooooon | +1.33 | 81 | 63 |





