








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2095 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1571 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1732 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1238 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1478 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $358,240 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rat "rat" rattata | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Jebbe | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | BerBeri | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Kexy | 61% | 23 |
| #5 | Kiulux | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | GREG MORO | 42% | 12 |
| #18 | Nuori Kokki | 40% | 25 |
| #19 | Master Senséi♛ | 39% | 18 |
| #20 | Jupe | 27% | 11 |
| #21 | sMikezu | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moro | 9 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Bober | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | beluga | 5 | 0.0133 |
| #4 | rat "rat" rattata | 5 | 0.0163 |
| #5 | Kexy | 4 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | 83 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | moro | 79 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kexy | 76 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | PikkuCyrpa | 72 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | seve | 54 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GREG MORO | +2.31 | 91 | 73 |
| #2 | Nosseemi | +2.21 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | BerBeri | +2.00 | 76 | 54 |
| #4 | Kexy | +1.06 | 56 | 57 |
| #5 | rat "rat" rattata | +0.88 | 49 | 38 |





