








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 756 | 29% |
| Smokes | 676 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 519 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 614 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $532,241 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beluga | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Kexy | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Bober | 55% | 73 |
| #4 | Nuori Kokki | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | Nosseemi | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beluga | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Kexy | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Bober | 55% | 73 |
| #4 | Nuori Kokki | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | Nosseemi | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nosseemi | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Bober | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | beluga | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Kexy | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nosseemi | 145 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bober | 134 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kexy | 65 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nuori Kokki | 47 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | beluga | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nosseemi | +3.20 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | Kexy | +1.80 | 59 | 60 |
| #3 | moro | +0.63 | 66 | 55 |
| #4 | Bober | -0.15 | 58 | 53 |
| #5 | Nuori Kokki | -2.17 | 56 | 43 |





