










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1718 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1096 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 589 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 935 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,788 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N4jZ | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | J_ARRE% | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | JT | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | spray | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | ramziiN | 68% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J_ARRE% | 6 | 0.0263 |
| #2 | scotlandsfinestmale | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | ramziiN | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | rud | 2 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | MocirneH | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ramziiN | 214 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | scotlandsfinestmale | 107 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | spray | 73 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | rud | 59 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | Emma (Taylor's version) | 58 | 0.39 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blameMVP | +3.56 | 90 | 73 |
| #2 | MisteM | +3.45 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | jacob | +2.33 | 97 | 67 |
| #4 | ramziiN | +1.28 | 89 | 58 |
| #5 | N4jZ | +1.18 | 77 | 59 |





