








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 351 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1752 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 934 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1125 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $628,122 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mukuro | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | 🔥 hyzzen | 70% | 54 |
| #3 | ZoToX | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | KerriKhan | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | Piou | 56% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roro | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Laser | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | DevilMindDje | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | 🔥 hyzzen | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Piou | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roro | 363 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | 🔥 hyzzen | 265 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #3 | Laser | 224 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | ZoToX | 132 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | DevilMindDje | 130 | 0.10 | 3 min |





