








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,958 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3055 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2311 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2499 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2093 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,763,013 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🔥 hyzzen | 51% | 140 |
| #2 | Peacewalker | 49% | 139 |
| #3 | ZoToX | 49% | 84 |
| #4 | Hadonoki | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | Laser | 44% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laser | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | 🔥 hyzzen | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | DevilMindDje | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Daft | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ZoToX | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🔥 hyzzen | 644 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #2 | Laser | 586 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | DevilMindDje | 404 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Daft | 301 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | ZoToX | 249 | 0.15 | 6 min |





